One of the drafts, being posted now.
2002-Aug-03, Saturday 03:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ssurgul{ACL: Kyle} -- Originally created 8/3
Some food for thought.
Quote: Why can't I ever find my way through the maze of human interaction correctly -- EVEN JUST ONCE WOULD BE FINE!!!!?
Why are you forcing yourself to rate your success in the broadest, most detailed, most long term goals imaginable? Why are you forcing yourself to only allow your 'success' to be measured against what you perceive to be the desired outcome of every interaction you can ever possibly have with someone? All too often, I hear these sorts of things being applied in venting. I realize it's venting, and that's fine and jim-dandy. But, upon discussion post-venting, I show where and how it's not this way, and you seem to feel even better, because you have concrete examples where, for specific interactions, even over time, you have done 'right'.
Don't let yourself fall into the 'I fucked up this once, therefore everything else I've ever tried with this person must be fucked up too.' syndrome. I know where that led me, and you've already stated, repeatedly, that it's leading you there too. You can't focus on the extreme all the time. Everything will have problems, no matter how well crafted, no matter how 'understanding'. Everything will have glitches. If you live in terror of those, rather than just moving over them as easily as possible when they happen, you'll sentence yourself to never being able to move at all, lest you upset the tiniest, most inconsequential pieces of life.
Some food for thought.
Quote: Why can't I ever find my way through the maze of human interaction correctly -- EVEN JUST ONCE WOULD BE FINE!!!!?
Why are you forcing yourself to rate your success in the broadest, most detailed, most long term goals imaginable? Why are you forcing yourself to only allow your 'success' to be measured against what you perceive to be the desired outcome of every interaction you can ever possibly have with someone? All too often, I hear these sorts of things being applied in venting. I realize it's venting, and that's fine and jim-dandy. But, upon discussion post-venting, I show where and how it's not this way, and you seem to feel even better, because you have concrete examples where, for specific interactions, even over time, you have done 'right'.
Don't let yourself fall into the 'I fucked up this once, therefore everything else I've ever tried with this person must be fucked up too.' syndrome. I know where that led me, and you've already stated, repeatedly, that it's leading you there too. You can't focus on the extreme all the time. Everything will have problems, no matter how well crafted, no matter how 'understanding'. Everything will have glitches. If you live in terror of those, rather than just moving over them as easily as possible when they happen, you'll sentence yourself to never being able to move at all, lest you upset the tiniest, most inconsequential pieces of life.