Commenting that got too long

[ssurgul]

This is probably a very good time to comment on this.

I can't honestly believe you any longer. It just staggers me.

What gives me the right? Me. What gives you the right to listen or not? You. Is this an attack on you, as such? Yeah, I guess it is. Know why? You're deeply fucked up Kyle. All this bullshit you started espousing, it fucking amazes me.

Tear down any sense of self-esteem you had? Please. You had nil when I met you. To my mind, I did my level best to build you up again from zero. I watched you start to get right back into your same, self-destructive behaviors. I showed you a difference, I talked to you about the past, I explained as best I was able the distinctions of what was good and bad about your behaviors that caused the problems in the first place. And you know what? You bought it. Not because I hypnotized you, not because I forced my worldview on you, not because I was practicing mind control. But because you were sick of being a fuckup, and you were sick of feeling like shit all the time.

But no, nono, let's go ahead and ignore that initial conversation. Let's further ignore the attacks you placed squarely upon me, initially, and for the first few months. You have said that one of the biggest attacks to your self-esteem I placed on you was the calling into question your memory, making you feel inadequate because of the amount I was essentially calling you a liar. Let's turn the Way Fucking Back machine back to the first few months. When you did precisely THE SAME GODDAMN THING! Every time I turned around, you did that shit. And, knowing that my own memory was not the greatest any longer, I bought it. For far longer than I should have. But, then, ultimately, I got sick of it, and I started standing up. And, finally, you started to really see patterns develop as I called you on things, and had to forcibly fucking remind you of your bullshit. Of your memory gaps. Of your 'mischaracterizations', which I could term as outright deceit, given the clear amount of trust you've broken on my part. Yes, yes, you'll happily say that I've broken nearly all your own trust as well. How dare I. But, it swings both ways on that one, Kyle. Particularly at the end few months.

What gives me the right to pick apart arguments? Um, gee? Returned service for having my own attacked? Setting a 'level field' for these things to happen? Years and years of listening to people espouse truly ridiculous things and realizing that they are totally backward in their mentality? You know what? Actually, this is even more amazing to me, on reflection. "What gives you the right to pick their arguments apart, holding them to exactly the same standard of thoughts that you've grown into?" Hello? I'll label it 'Consistency', though that word is inflammatory between us now because I truly don't think that you're capable of understanding the meaning.

What makes me think my own viewpoints won't be seen as inconsistent? Nothing. Such is life. But that doesn't make them so. Particularly if the other's actions and words are consistently inconsistent. I find it far more amusing to see myself coming under attack by people like you. Your thoughts, words, deeds, and reasons were so very screwed up and skewed so very often that it became clear about half way through that you couldn't form a reasonable argument. Oh, but wait. I forgot. This must be my fault because you were living with me, and I was practicing some horrendously bad form of mind control on you. It must be my fault for showing you that your arguments were bad, trying to get you to lift yourself to a better level. A level you did start to develop into in the past few months. But then of course, being you, you took it to an extreme, and you started spouting amazingly ridiculous things based on input from others that have no fucking clue what is and isn't going on, and based on your rather unique forms of association, memory, and analysis.

"And how the FUCK do you justify turning me into what essentially amounted to a parrot, because it was the only way to keep you off my fucking back? Your actions were COMPLETELY inconsistent with your stated desire!" And which stated desire is this, this time? I've heard this and your other arguments before, you realize. And, amusingly enough, each fucking time I hear it, it's based around something else. Something that ranges from utterly unrelated, to something only tangentially unrelated. Oh but wait. That's right. You and the Society of Submissives that you shared some if not all of my secrets with (yes, I'm incredibly hot about this. I don't know what you might have told them, but given your actions in front of Geoffrey, I have to assume you violated your word to me in pretty much every way. And now of course you'll take this as an excuse to retro-justify your own actions for having done so, and making it an even bigger public deal. But that's life; that's dealing with you.) have decided that my actions were 'REALLY' meant to deliver Z, H, and O rather than whatever it is I might have actually said. Oh but wait. That's right. Because you said, they accept it, since you seem able, in their mind, to be able to use anyone, for anything, no matter how long, and get away with it.